The Guilded Lie

Yeah You trace the hollow of my blade and whisper, "You're enough." You pull me close and minds went dark and made the world feel soft I thought you were the only truth in rooms of painted lies But you were just the sweetest voice among the lullabies You knew, Didn't you? You always knew You came from Devadaha My love you walked the open roads. You'd seen the women weeping and the men who carried loads You passed the burning fires long before you reached my gate. You knew what they were hiding So you held me and you wait. Every morning, You wait For me to never ask And maybe that's what love was in your mind. To let me live inside a beautiful lie To keep me warm, to keep me blind. To kiss my eyes so I would never cry But darling, I saw a man die today On a road they forgot to sweep clean I stood there shaking, not for him, But for all that you thought I shouldn't see. I loved you in the garden I loved you in the dark But you left the door open just a crack And the light, It broke my heart How many nights I told you things I never told a soul? You'd hold my face and listen like you loved me fierce and whole. But the woman holding me had seen the world beyond these Walls and chose to guard my ignorance like a child before it falls Were you protecting me Or protecting what we had? Tonight you're sleeping curled around our son and now we're old His tiny fingers finding yours and fighting for a hold And I am standing in the door like a man lost at sea Because the only home I knew was built on gilded lies to me And you, My love, You were the last wall standing Don't tell me that you did it out of love I know you did and that is what hurts most You loved me so completely that you chose To build a world where life was but a ghost Where no one aged And no one ever died While truth was sleeping lonely by my side So I'm kissing his forehead God he smells like you. And I'm memorizing everything I'm about to lose These hands that held me honest This mouth that held its tongue The woman that I'd die for who loved me so Much she kept me young. I loved you in the garden I loved you in the lies And I'm leaving, not because I stopped, But because I cannot know what's outside I'm strapping on my sandals by the door we carved our names in I'm stepping past the jasmine that you planted our first spring The guards will say I left for God The world will say for peace But you and I both know, my love, I'm leaving for the grief Not for the man On the road For us For what we could have been They'll build a thousand temples to the things I'm gonna find But they won't say a word about the ghost I left Behind. They'll carve my face in stone and call it wisdom Call it free. But the only truth I knew tonight Was that I loved you And you lied to me